Miami: more than just coke and porn

Best place to eat on campus:
The Rat. Good cheap food and a surprisingly wide selection of beers on tap. The best time to go is between 4-7 on weekdays when the beer is cheap and the gliders outside overlooking the lake make for a great afternoon break.

Best place to eat off campus:
My personal favorite is Scully's tavern. A fifteen minute drive southwest of campus, they offer great food in a relaxed setting. I recommend going on a Sunday after 3 when they have all you can eat ribs for $15. You have to ask for it specifically though as they don't advertise it.

Best places to drink the night away:
Tuesday - Hooligans $1 pitchers after midnight with UM id
Wednesday - Sandbar penny beers after ten
Thursday - Coconut grove. variety of bars for all types. if you like being crowded by kids with their older siblings id's, hit tavern. Enjoy dancing to bon jovi and journey hit sandbar. one of the best kept secrets is Fat Tuesdays on the second level of coco walk offering dollar beers and jell-o shots. Mr. Moe's is a good option if rubbing elbows with college athletes is your goal, avoid the big beers though as they look tempting but are rarely finished.
Fri and Sat - South beach if waiting in line and dancing to things that go mch mch mch with greased up tan bodies that are augmented.

Best place for late night food:
New York Pizza in coconut grove or the nachos at Mr. Moe's

Best off campus fun:
It's miami.

Best beach:
If you don't want to make the trek to south beach and can do without having to be around topless women hit Crandon Park on key biscayne. It's less crowded and has bbq's and clean bathrooms.

Athletic Venues:
With the demolition of the Orange Bowl students will now have to travel farther to home games than ever. If you are taking the school supplied buses I recommend rubber boots and nose plugs as the floors will soon be coated in drunk coeds puke and young men who couldn't hold it in anymore. The Bank United Center is a great small venue with amazing sight-lines, tickets are easy to come by as people in Coral Gables only care about basketball when Duke or UNC are in town, regardless of the team's recent success. The on campus baseball stadium is undergoing a face-lift courtesy of A-Rod and is right across the street from Titanic, a bar that brews their own beer. Tickets are cheap, but due to the fact that Mark Light Field currently only seats about 3,000 get there early for big games. Tennis and soccer each have nice intimate settings and are usually only attended by relatives of the players.

Miscellaneous:
Obviously I have spent the most time at this school so i have tried to consolidate everything into a small list. Miami is a huge city with something to offer for the sinners and the saints.